There is no general reason for wanting to commit suicide yet there are some common motivators. If you or someone you know is considering suicide, one of the following may be a trigger.
- They are tired of trying and not seeing results.
- They want relief from their physical or emotional pain.
- They feel that they are out of options for solving their urgent problem.
- They feel that they do not belong in this world.
- They have given up hope that things will ever change or improve.
- They want to punish themselves for not getting life ‘right.’
- They want to hurt someone else for not giving them what they wanted.
- They feel bored with life and don’t see anything to look forward to.
What do you say to a person who is feeling suicidal?
When someone is considering suicide it is typically when the pressure of the issue is far too much too handle alone. During this time, a suicidal person does not need to be coddled or have their fears and angst affirmed. It is not time to empathize. A suicidal person is distressed. They don’t need you to agree with their stress.
Do not say:
- You’re right. Life sucks.
- I’m so sorry to hear about your pain.
- I feel so sorry for you.
- I would feel the same way.
- I’m going through the same thing and (ramble on about your problems).
- (Insert name of your god or religious figure) Loves You.
- If you ever want to vent, I’ll listen.
A suicidal person would benefit from being recognized and acknowledged as a beneficial part of someone’s life. This interaction will be a reminder that they are connected to someone that values their presence. This type of exchange, if offered in a firm and upbeat way, could snap them out of their manic mood. The words you speak will stay with them even after you hang up or leave.
To encourage a friend or family member during a moment of deep depression, simply contact them and say:
- I am glad that you are a part of my life.
- I remember when we (insert fun and happy memory together). We had so much fun.
- You’re the only person I can turn to when I need help with (insert issue you have that they have helped with). Thank you.
- You’re my reason for living.
Helping to relieve someone of their depressive thoughts is not your responsibility but, a small reminder that the distressed person has made a lasting impact on your life could make a lasting impact on theirs.